Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the subtle joys that shape our days—those quiet, often unnoticed moments that gradually become the heart of our daily lives. For me, these have included nurturing sourdough starters, observing a robin’s nest through a camera at our home, and tending to my garden. These activities are a far cry from the adrenaline-fueled hobbies of my youth—gymnastics, cheerleading, waterskiing, singing, and voracious reading. This shift has prompted me to wonder: Am I simply getting older, or is this a sign of something deeper?
The Shift from Energy to Nurturing:
There was a time when my life revolved around high-energy pursuits. Each required dedication and time—time that became increasingly scarce. Gymnastics and cheerleading demanded hours of training each week, a commitment nearly impossible to uphold as a full-time entrepreneur and mother. Singing at an advanced level required daily practice, another slice of time I could no longer spare. These activities defined me, yet I found myself setting them aside, one by one.
Motherhood and Its Demands:
The transition wasn’t sudden. It came on quietly, a necessity as I focused on raising children—aiming to instill kindness, diligence, and a sense of contribution to society. The shift wasn't just about lack of time; it was about reallocating my energy to the very demanding, yet fulfilling job of motherhood. My husband's interests evolved differently, perhaps less constrained by the physical demands and societal expectations placed on women. His transition from wakeboarding to fishing was smoother, whereas some passions, like his love for hockey, never had to pause.
One vivid memory marks a definitive end to one of my pastimes: trampolining. While pregnant with my first daughter, I asked my doctor if I could continue trampoline classes. The laughter in response, noting the change in my center of gravity and the risks involved, was a clear sign. I never returned to trampolining, mourning the loss not only of the activity but of the identity that went with it.
A New Connection with Nature:
The pivot to gardening started out of necessity, as a strategic retreat from the house and children to carve out moments of solitude. It was a simple act—getting my hands dirty, feeling the earth—a stark contrast to the sterile environments of gyms and performance halls. But soon, I found genuine pleasure in the quiet hours spent among plants and blooms.
Reflections on Identity and Self-Care:
This journey through varied interests isn’t just about finding time for oneself; it’s about evolution and adapting to the rhythms of life. What began as a logistical solution became a vital part of my self-care routine, a way to reconnect with a part of myself that was buried under the roles of business owner and mother. I often wonder, are new hobbies a sign of aging, or a midlife crisis, or perhaps a testament to the fluid nature of identity. They are acts of survival, of adaptation, and of finding beauty in new beginnings.
As I reflect, I can’t help but notice how motherhood has reshaped my hobbies and identity in ways that aren't mirrored in my husband’s experience. His hobbies evolved, yes, but the fundamental framework—his freedom to engage in them—remained largely intact. For me, choosing something like gardening, which can be done close to home and keeps me within earshot of my children, reflects a deeper adaptation to the realities of motherhood and the uneven distribution of parental responsibilities.
Perhaps this shift isn’t about losing myself to time or age but about embracing the full spectrum of life’s offerings. As I nurture seeds in my garden, I am also nurturing new facets of my identity, no matter how I got here, I am here now, and I need to allow myself to grow and adapt. These changes are not a denial of my past but an acknowledgment of my evolving needs and desires.
"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." — Maya Angelou
Have you gone through something similar? DM me on Instagram or let me know in the comments!
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